A young woman who was several months pregnant was sitting in a bus. When
she noticed a young man smiling at her, she began feeling humiliated on
account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more
amused. She moved again and then on seeing him laughing more, she filed
a court case on him.
In the court the man's defense was: When the lady boarded the bus I
couldn't help noticing she was pregnant.
She sat under an advertisement, which read 'Coming Soon - The unknown
boon'...
I was even more amused when she then sat under a shaving cream
advertisement, which read:
'William's stick did the trick'.
Then I could not control myself any longer, when on the third move she
sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Dunlop Rubber would have
prevented this accident'...
The case was dismissed. The judge fell off his chair laughing..!
The Next one is too good.. :)
Oh !!!!!! Women !!!!!
Yesterday I was having some work done at the Maruti dealer. A woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred- ten.
We all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred- ten?"
She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."
The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710 !!
He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"
She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."
Now go to the photo below to learn what a 710 is..........
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Women ? The mechanic fainted!!
Have FUN :)
so funny...
ReplyDeleteYea....Sujatha.. :P
ReplyDeleteEFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: Company Policy:
ReplyDeleteDress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Thursday & Friday.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders Category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health
policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 60 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 10 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience - Management
A patient was waiting nervously in the examination room of a famous specialist.
ReplyDelete"So who did you see before coming to me?" asked the doctor.
"My local General Practitioner."
"Your GP?" scoffed the doctor. "What a waste of time. Tell me, what sort of useless advice did he give you?"
"He told me to come and see you."